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On My Oasis – Battling the Blues
The ‘blues’ is putting it lightly. I’ve suffered from depression for years and aside from a small medicated patch back in early 2001, I’ve always managed to yank myself out of it. However, this time it’s been really tough. Finding the energy to get out of bed has been hard enough, let alone get in the car, go to work, communicate with people – i.e. live a normal life.
A lot of this week, therefore, has been spent laying on the couch and watching River Cottage reruns and reading the plethora of smallholding books I have. It probably doesn’t help my mood actually. Whilst inspiring, when I’m in such a black place it actually built a despairing concern that I’d never reach my goals. So, though it should be making me feel comforted, it actually exacerbated my anxiety. Ahh, depression. What a bastardly mental muck-up it is!
Some of the books keeping my depression company
One of the most frustrating things about having depression is that I find it actually strikes when life is going well. For example; I had some amazing news this week concerning the hens. You’d have read my woes last week about the suspected mycoplasma and how it was going to affect the future of my poultry. Well….the tests all came back NEGATIVE! I’m still going to have another testing round because I’m really not certain. Also, the sting in the tail is that Fiona – my lovely little white Poland – succumbed to illness. I could kick myself. She looked a little lethargic and had got her crest wet from all the rain. I should’ve brought her inside, I should’ve dried her off, but I didn’t….and she didn’t survive the night.
However, everyone else in the coop seems to be perking up. Eggs are up. Crowing is up. General naughtiness and escapism is up too!
There’s also great news for the Owl Nesting Box campaign. We hit 32% funded a while back and over the past few days this has climbed to near 50%. So, that’s TWO OWL BOXES FUNDED! There’s only two weeks left now so the push is on to meet the target. That way I can keep the project open and over the coming months and years, I can continue to run the campaign to fund more boxes.
We’ve almost reached 50% funded now!
Finally, my brother-in-law was ready to dump an entire box hedge into a skip – hundreds of pounds worth!! I couldn’t allow that to happen and so now I have 20 or so box plants individually planted up. They’re a little raggedy to say the least, especially those that were in the central part of the hedge, but I aim to try and turn them into upright columns. But with all these pots I’ve run into a problem – I know I might’ve only been in my new garden a year, and it’s three times the size of the old one, but I’ve run out of space already! Oops!
So, for now, I’m going to keep battling my blues though I do think they’re beginning to lift and there’s light streaming in once again. The weather and thriving growth in the garden certainly helps, and I’m keen to get the optimistic, happy Geoff back again.
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