Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
All Beginnings
So of course, you’ve arrived here thinking that this merry tale is to be full of nudity, scandal, bitch slaps left, right and centre with a full hair pulling sessions thrown in for good measure……well I will try not to disappoint but as if with everything, life throws up unexpected hurdles and so we best start at the beginning.
With a grandfather owning a farm I was naturally brought up surrounded by animals, both in and out of the house and have carried this desire to be at one with nature ever since. Seeing the sheep and chickens at my grandparents every once in a while wasn’t enough and soon my bedroom looked like a farmyard all of its own – the window sills cluttered with jars filled with nibbling catterpillars, shag festing ladybirds (yes, its suprising how much the critters actually do it) and docile stick insects. Tanks held copious numbers of fish and two large flights (plus some cages) held an assortments of everyday domestic birds from finches to parakeets.
It wasn’t until I moved to London and became adept at standing on my own feet, and realising that actually, as a gay man, I didn’t need to shag anything male that moved, that I settled down, got myself some decent pets (hmmm, do cats count?), stuck up a avairy, got some chooks of my own and finally laid my hands on an allotment site along with my doting godmother (and of all her curious nature’s you will discover in time).
The hens, were of course aptly named upon adequately gay measures. First, and the biggest came Georgia, a regal looking fowl who strutted herself dominated everything and anyone…I could easily imagine her courting Mr Bingly. Second was Elle, named because of an eye infection at birth led her to remind me of the well groomed but evil blooded assassin in Kill Bill, Elle Driver. My next little hen, and the first to lay for me, was a quiet and retiring type. She let her rabble take the limelight and seemed to turn her nose up at noise and quibbles – hence Charlotte (aka SATC) came to be. And finally the smallest of the quartet, but by far noisiest, bossiest and down right quarrelsome was to be named, and this there only lay one name, a small latino fiest Desperate Housewife, yes, Gabby!
Here you can see Georgia in the forefront with Elle and Gabby behind
Content with my small egg factory (and when I say small, I mean small….I’ve yet to find a man with a smaller testicle than these things) I moved my focus to larger matters – THE ALLOTMENT!
This is a long winded tale and much of the stories have already been lost to me not starting this diary of events from the beginning so in short, I will give an ever so brief version of where we are up to. My godmother, putting in the inconcievable amount of hours each week in at work (well to me anyhow) cannot attend during weekdays and so this is left to me. I’m afraid in my lazy but fairied state I found it difficult to motivate myself to get to the allotment and after the first few weeks of novelty value I did slack somewhat, finding myself devolving back to my student days with cereal and midday Neighbours. It seemed that we had done ourselves rather well when we first arrived to see our plot, a 10rod affair, square instead of the usual rectangular run and covered by plastic and that very willing and thoughtful neighbours had placed to prevent weeds. “Aha, not much work here we” (well probably I) thought. But of course, everything takes much longer than it need and ought once fannying around, talking and drinking copious amounts of tea/coffee/cider or what the tipple of the moment seems to be has finished. The three photo’s below show how the plot first looked when we got it:
Day 1 – The first square was dug! Very easy as already been cultivated earier this year – Geoff Hamilton eat your heart out! We own everything to the fence and as wide as where the shed on the next plot is standing.
Day 2 – Completed the second square and got the edging done for both. Finally met the crappy soil, hard as rock, maybe this isn’t going to be as easy as I thought!
Day 3 and it was fricking hot (though it don’t look like it). Dug the third square – I really need those pallets now to make up a second compost heap, otherwise I’m going to be waste high in weeds all over.
You wouldn’t believe the hundreds of critters on this site, I’m constantly praying that I haven’t killed one but I’m sure I must’ve stood or put a spade through at least one newt accidently! Sorry newt lord!
Looking back at these photo’s really makes me realise that actually we have done that I have let on. In brief we now have a shed beside that of our neighbours. A hard day’s backbreaking (literally as my godmother could hardly move after) Cupronol’d the shed – but it looks damn great – just needs the glitter ball up now. We have three compost bins next to that and of course, lest we forget and ever be damned to hell by the allotment society, we have guttering and one water butt (but again, lest we want to feel the wrath we must attain some more). The back strip where you can just see some green plastic has been rotivated and levelled so that we can lay a lawn. Laugh you may, but its simply to shady here to grow good crops, and every lady of the gay knows that he must have somewhere to entertain! Though, with my alochol tolerance its more likely to be somewhere to pass out rather quickly.
Running along the rightside of our plot we have a strip of black/red/white currents and goosberries. Strawberries are to planted on the other side so come the summer we have summer pudding alley, my godmother can don her Laura Ashley dress and trug and glide blissfully through collecting as she goes.
The latest development is a renewed interest in me to get things done and today I have created the fourth square where the brown bin (now the newest trend in water butts) can be seen.
And I forget the most important part of all this self sufficiency gabble – we have crops!! Of course, its quite wonderous when joining an allotment that within days of starting one starts to appear home with bags of produce, who knew things grew this fast!! Its wonderful turning up to the amazement of your family after a couple of days work with arms full of cabbages, parsnips, potatoes! But its then that you realise that the old community spirit is going well if one knows where to look. But in all honesty – we do have crops. My little Broad Beans have started to poke their heads through – I have two types, a dwarf variety that boasts double the crop of normal, and a normal hardy variety as a safe measure. We also have two rows of Garlic and copious rows (yes, I got a little exhuberant) of winter Onions.
Now – I suppose I fill have to continue filling in little stories here and there. And right now I need to go to E-bay and start looking for some new chickens!
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Warning: Use of undefined constant powered_by - assumed 'powered_by' (this will throw an Error in a future version of PHP) in /home/thegui11/public_html/wp-content/plugins/wp-followme/followme.php on line 58
Leave a Reply